My Births, My Babies: Aden

By Fatimah Faraj

 My first child, Alina, was born by C-section on Friday, April 17, 2009. Yes, I had a C-section. Not my plan, but it ended up being a beautiful birth.

My plan was to have a natural birth.  We chose Women’s Birth and Wellness Center (WBWC) as a good stepping stone for our first birth, hoping to follow it with a home birth. WBWC also offered my husband, who had no background in birth, an introduction to this world.  

At 35 weeks I found out Alina was transverse breach.  Her head was nuzzled under my left rib and her bottom sat on my right hip.  My pelvis was empty - with no baby in it.  I did everything in the book to turn her.  Inversion on my back, inversion on hands and knees, inversion off stairs, moxibustion (Chinese medicine dried mugwort herb that is burned by the little toe and used to help turn babies), acupuncture, hot and cold, hypnosis and an External Cephalic Version (ECV) performed at UNC Womens Hospital in Chapel Hill.  The obstetricians (I had two of them) tried several times to turn her during my ECV- once she flipped down with her head to my left hip and then somersaulted back up.  Did she turn with the last try? No, but I was determined to go into spontaneous labor, to see if that would turn her and if not to then go in for my c-section.  I also wanted delayed cord clamping and skin to skin.  All of these things I fought for, and it took a few hours of discussions to get the whole operating room team on board.

I vowed not to have another baby until I made peace with my c-section and until I was prepared to have another c-section (even though my plans would be to avoid it).

I got pregnant last October with Aden, who was due July 22. 2013. My plan was to go for a vaginal birth after a cesarean (VBAC).  However, I was very in tune with him and his position, and I just knew he was in the same exact position as his sister.  At our 17-week ultra sound he was breech.

 Two weeks before my 29-week position-check ultra sound I could have sworn his head was under my left rib. At our 29 week ultra sound he was -- drum roll-- head down!

I was shocked. 

I swore up and down he was in the same position as Alina, but that day he was not.  Now I really began to plan for my VBAC.  In my heart and mind I was looking for his energy and just felt something was off, but I couldn’t pin point it yet.  

Also, since NC legislation is so stringent on home births I couldn’t switch to a home birth practice as I had planned but somehow I knew this was for the best in my case.  

I started to think of my VBAC and how I wanted it to be, but I did not get my hopes up because there were some chances he would change his position.  The OB who talked to me at 29 weeks said if he is still head down at 32 weeks more than likely he would stay that way.

 At my 36-week ultrasound in late June he was still head down. Ok, now it was for sure. Right?  I started talking to the midwives and my doula about my birth plan.

 On July 19, at 39 weeks and five days into my pregnancy something shifted.  I knew I would not have a VBAC. In my heart - deep down I knew the whole time, but now it was becoming a reality. I could feel my baby, his energy, his position -I just felt it.  Over the next few days I would wake up upset.  Upset with myself for not going into labor even with all the activity I was having.  In reality this feeling was linked to the fact that I needed to take a step towards a very hard decision -- I needed to schedule another c-section.  My body was urging me to listen.  It showed me that with lots and lots of contractions my baby was not in the right spot for birth.  Since I had to believe the evidence from the ultrasound (which conflicted my gut feeling that he was transverse breech with his head under my left rib and bottom on my right hip) I just thought something was holding him back from dropping into my pelvis.   Tuesday, I woke up with clarity, and I told my husband that I had to have the baby, and I needed to schedule the c-section.  It was a passing thought that I brought up to him that he thought nothing of.
 I went into work for a bit and then started my 45-minute drive  to Chapel Hill and WBWC. I knew what I had to do. I called my doula and discussed it with her.  She pledged her support.

My midwife, Emily, and I went into the room for my appointment. I told her I felt something was not right and that I had to have him and that it was time for me to schedule my c-section.  I knew this would be a shock.  

 As much as I believe in vaginal birth, I believe more that a mother’s instinct is NEVER EVER wrong.

 The midwives accepted it, but we couldn’t get an appointment for that day because it was not an emergency.  I did do a non- stress test to make sure.  They could schedule me for the next day, but I did not like the OB on call.  Even though I knew he had to be born by c-section I still wanted the best experience possible.  I asked specifically for Dr. Alison Stuebe or a few others (I know lots of the UNC doctors).  They were able to schedule me with Alison who also delivered my sweet Alina four years ago by c-section.  The c-section was scheduled for Friday, July 26.  I started getting everything in order, making sure my child care arrangements for Alina were taken care of, and that my work was in a good place.

The day before Alina and I went to UNC for my pre-ops and to prepare, I started prepping the people who would be in the OR about what I wanted -- ie: lotus birth, skin-to-skin, no weight check until after baby nursed, etc.

 With Alina I waited to go into early labor before delivery.  With Aden I had a strong feeling that labor wouldn’t be safe this time around.  I had lots of activity, and I felt if I did go into labor it would be quick and with him in the wrong position it would just not have good outcomes especially with a previous c-section.  

 I told my husband the night before I knew his position was off and that the cord was probably wrapped around his neck several times not allowing him to get into my pelvis.

 Friday, was here. Everything was in motion. I stopped and gave Radiah my 12 year old sister a hug on the way as she was waiting for her school bus. I told her we were going to the hospital to have Aden.

 Everything was going well. At the hospital I got a private room for post surgery and recovery.

My doula arrived.  Dr. Stuebe stopped in to say everything was a go with my birth plan.  What a difference from Alina’s birth where we had to talk to every person on the birth team about what I wanted. Now I was in a pro-breast-feeding, baby-friendly hospital, which was not the case when Alina was born.  It was the same hospital but four years had allowed them to grow and change.

 I went in to the OR with my doula, Marcie Westphalen, got my spinal with a catheter for an epidural in case they needed it.  With this being my second c-section, we needed more ammo in case things went wrong.  Sarah, my midwife joined me then too.

 When they were ready to cut my husband came in and sat down.  When they started cutting he put his head down. I looked over and asked if he was OK.  He wasn’t , but he said that he was. He forgot he was married to a person who reads people pretty well!! Ha! Ha! A few minutes passed; they were getting ready to get into my uterus.  My husband was really not doing well.  I looked at him and asked if he needed to leave He said 'Yes.'  The nurse walked him out, and he passed out right outside of the OR.  Yep, that is my babe!  He almost passed out with Alina too, but I didn’t have a doula so he fought real hard to keep it from happening. He was fine; he got up and went to the recovery room to wait for us. They got to the baby thinking they were going to find a head and the first words out of the surgeon's mouth were, 'We have a foot.'  I repeated: 'A foot?'  'Yes, a foot.'  Then came his bottom from my right hip and his head from under my left rib. Transverse breech!  Cord wrapped around neck twice over.  Just like Alina!

I was amazed and so happy.  I was ecstatic.  It is hard to listen to your instinct blindly with no proof.  Especially in a world where we are taught to ignore it.  But listen I did, and the outcomes were amazing. With a lotus birth, and skin-to-skin, baby Aden found and nursed on his own while I was on the operating table; no weight check or separation from baby until I was ready.

Despite major surgery, Aden's birth was an amazing experience.  I knew every step of this pregnancy and birth was right.  I wouldn’t change a thing all the way down to my fainting husband.

 It was an experience of LIFE and all of its awe and wonder, and I soaked it in.  I am proud of myself for being strong, for accepting what I could not change and for doing what was necessary to make Aden's birth a beautiful experience. I know I could have done a vaginal birth if my situation had been different, but I was determined to make the best of the C-Section world as well.

My babies:

Alina 4-17-2009 9:20 pm 6lb 6.6 oz.18 3/4 inches.

Aden 7-26-2013 11:05 am 7lb 3.1oz 19 5/16 inches.

For both:

Physician: Alison Stuebe

Midwife: Sarah Akers

Day: Friday

Birth: C-Section with immediate skin to skin

Transverse Breech

Cord wrapped twice around their neck

Born at: UNC with WBWC practice